Frustrations with Foster Care

Being a foster parent, we have felt quite alone in this venture. We know one other couple that are foster parents, besides that it feels "hidden" from us where the rest of them are. When we went on our little mini-vacation without our foster baby B, I knew I was not only seeking a little respite, but also praying to God for some clarity.

I seem to have lost the reason and purpose we decided to become foster parents during our first full month, and I knew I needed to pray through a lot of things in my heart concerning it, before getting Baby B back today. 

Here's a short list that's driven me crazy: 
-unprofessional comments from social workers
-very short one liner answers from social workers
-not knowing information concerning the child in your home
-no known timeline of when things could possibly occur
-finding out court dates happened without you being informed
-being told "wrong" information
-being disconnected from other foster parents
-frustrations of trying to love a birth mom you don't know while caring for her baby
-(I could probably go on and on)

I can't say we have had this magical experience being foster parents (yet), and it has caused me to struggle.

Of course, there are good days and bad days, and moments where I wonder why on God's green Earth we are doing this!? Especially being pregnant at the same time!

I search and search online and can barely find blogs talking about the real truths of fostering. Real issues foster parents might struggle with. I'm praying through starting my own blog! ha!

When we got home yesterday from the beach, I filled a glass up of some nice, cool ice water! I was looking forward to NOT tasting beach water from the facet! I sat down in the living room and drank about 5 delicious sips. Then, I glanced down and almost jumped. My glass was filled with yellow/brown water.

I rushed to the sick and dumped it out. We realized that while we were gone, the first water out of the pipes must have settled some and needed to run through a bit.

I immediately felt nauseated and moments later found myself vomiting up my lunch I had 2 hours earlier.

Now, why do I tell you all this!? (Yep, so you can see how pregnant and miserable I am?)

No, in reality, it was because I was forced to go lay down on our bed. Cai ran in to check on me and, being the fidgety 3 year old he is, he turned on my alarm clock radio. He's always messing with it and it's always on weird stations.

As I was laying there I realized that it was a group of foster parents and their children talking about the importance of foster parents, how needed they were, and how much of an impact a good home can make in the life of a foster child. 

All 3 things that I had forgotten in the daily dealings of being bogged down with DSS.

The program was over a few short minutes longer and I wished I had heard more of it. As I lay there, I knew that God had me 1)drink nasty water 2)so that I would go lay down 3)had my toddler turn on a random station 4)so I would be still and listen to what God was trying to say to my heart!

I prayed through what I heard and I heard loud and clear from the Lord this fact:

There is a need and YOU are filling it.

Bottom line, is that God has called us to this task at hand. I knew this before, but it got harder to believe when life (at times) felt too hard to bear, and now I've been renewed. 

I know I can walk into DSS today and pick that sweet girl up with a smile knowing that God has me right here with her and I know he has called me to this task. In serving her, I am serving Him. 

Also, good news, there is a monthly foster care meeting and I am hoping to go tomorrow night! Maybe I will finally meet some other foster parents I can actually relate with!