I am Blessed to Stay Home!

Parts of me really struggle with being a stay-at-home wife and mama. I don't necessarily feel called to work outside of the home, but I do not think I realized how truly difficult it is to stay at home. (I feel like I have blogged about his subject before.) Not that I thought it would be a piece of cake, but honestly, I didn't think it would be hard like it truly is.

Our culture makes you feel like staying at home is equivalent to being lazy, when it is probably the single most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life. I have worked hard. I have gone places and done things. I have been through tremendous sicknesses in my life where at points death seamed the closest option. I have had experiences that I have thought were the hardest things that I have ever had to work through. And all of that seams easy compared to the day in and day out caring for a child.

There are many days where I feel like dropping my kid off at day care and letting someone else care for my baby would be easier. I wouldn't have to hear my baby whine or cry sometimes all day. I would probably look forward to being with my child more, because I wouldn't be with him all day long. I wouldn't worry so much when Micaiah only wants ME and no one else, because he is with me all day. But, then there are mornings like this one where we snuggle before his first nap and he lays his little head on my shoulder while he sucks his thumb, and I think to myself, "If he were in day-care, he wouldn't have anyone to snuggle with or if he did, it wouldn't be me." And then the lioness mama in me comes roaring out and I realize that no one should be in my place, but me. Let me say here, that if you are a working mama and your child is in day care...I do not think day care is bad. I'm just reflecting my heart to stay at home right now in this season of my life, and giving thanks that God that has given me this time with my baby. 


Seven months after going from two incomes to one, we are still here. I honestly, didn't know how we were going to survive that. I knew God would provide, and he has. Many told me that it wasn't possible financially in our world to stay at home. That is untrue. Would I like to not have to deny myself of certain pleasures, mostly shopping and buying whatever I want? Yep. That would be amazing. But, when I do get to spend money that way, I enjoy it so much more. I buy what we really will use and NEED. We become thankful for the things we HAVE and find creative ways to use those better.

I think it has taken me about 7 months to really embrace who I am as a mom. I think I am finally getting situated. You know how they say that it takes at least 6 months to feel comfortable in a new job? Well, it is the same with staying at home. I love that on most days there are foam alphabet letters stuck in the bottom of our tub. I love that we have a designated "play area" in our living room. I love that I have a designated cabinet assigned to baby food, and one for sippy cups and bottles. I love being the one that gets to read Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? I love that I now drink my coffee while watching Curious George and The Cat in the Hat.

I think what I am embracing more are the blessings that come with staying home. God says that, "Children are a Heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward." And, while I was joking with my hair lady yesterday that parenting is the longest endeavor EVER, where you have to work so long to finally see any fruit. God really does bless this time with getting to taste that fruit, too. The long days are hard, but the good days are sweet.