God - Our Provider

3.15.2011

"Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways." Psalm 119: 36 -37

I, Vanessa, don't really know how to begin this post. All my heart wants to do is give God praise! But, I feel like you need to know some background, too.

When Hart and I were blessed with our baby boy, we knew that God had called me to stay home as a mom. We knew going to one income would be hard, but we also knew that God would provide above and beyond what we needed.

Last week, we basically cut out EVERYTHING that was not a necessity. We had to do this, because 1)we were living beyond our means, which isn't sustainable and 2)we got a really high dental bill last month and some other bills that we weren't planning on. We dislike being in debt very much, and the only debt we really have right now is the bill just mentioned and our home. Otherwise, we don't have high income, but we are not constantly living in bondage to debt.

Hart came home from work one day last week and I laid out everything that had to GO for awhile, until things looked different for us. We cut out pretty much any type of entertainment or hobby expense, almost all dining out. This meant no more Netflix (our only TV luxury), no more sewing projects for me, no more bag pipe lessons for Hart, among the other stuff.

We saw the sin in our hearts when the things we valued more than God were taken away. Both of us struggled with the loss of things that "make us happy". But, we knew that what God required of us was more important, and we prayed through and gave those things over to the Lord.

We made the decision to live by faith, not live like the world. This is a moment by moment decision for me, as I honestly, have to CHOOSE this over how I naturally want to respond.

We've learned that you can put your Netflix account on hold for 4 months, so we are doing that. And this is the part of the story that I love, the part that God shows his amazingness! Let me tell you how God provides above and beyond.

I was given some cute fabric for FREE for sewing. That may not seem to cool to you, but I really love to sew things and I can't really grow my Designs by Sessa without fabric.

Hart emailed his bag pipe teacher and told him that right now he had to take a break from bag pipes, because he just couldn't afford the lessons.

(The bag pipes were a present from Hart's parents. Bag pipes are a very expensive instrument and difficult to play. Before when Hart's parents had two incomes, they were able to help here and there with some of the financial costs of getting lessons. The other thing is that Hart is VERY close to being able to completely play the bag pipes and stopping now would basically ruin most progress that he has been making this whole last year and could make things more difficult in the future. I really HATED to see him have to quit, because, not only is Hart such a talented musician, but he has worked really hard to get to this point.)

Do you KNOW how his teacher responded? This is where God's amazingness just shows off. Hart's teacher told him that he wasn't in this for the money and that he would teach Hart for FREE!!!! In fact, he was just satisfied to be contributing another piper to the bag pipe community, and maybe one day, the two of them would be able to teach our son how to play the bag pipes.

I cried.

If you could see how filthy my heart has been to God. I've been like an angry child, not happy that I can't have everything that I want. Frustrated that my comforts were taken away. I was like the rich young ruler that walked away from Jesus downhearted, because he had been given so much wealth and to sell all and give to the poor just was too much for him.

I don't share where we are at in this life to gain pity. We've been humbled and being where we are at right now, gives us the opportunity to watch how cool our God really is. It isn't just a coincidence that these things happened. His teacher isn't just a "nice guy." The LORD GOD ALMIGHTY is the ONE that has done these things and my heart is very very glad.

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