The Rough Gets Rougher

3.27.2011

This current trial we are in is very hard. I, Vanessa, feel like I am lost in a Jungle and I can't find my Guide! I know he was with me, but all of a sudden the brush is so thick that I can't see Him anymore. I can hear his voice, but I'm not sure which way to go.

I don't want to be that blog writer that just complains about their life. I'm being honest and real here, and almost always praying that you will be praying for me/us, too.

Every baby is different. I know this. But that doesn't make it any easier, especially when Satan tries to make you think that you are alone and lost and the only one suffering through certain things, which is a lie! As a mom, you search for answers. You do everything in your power to help your baby, to figure out what is wrong, but sometimes you just don't know what to do. You call out to Jesus to help you. He doesn't take you out of the Jungle, but he does make a way for you.

A friend of mine recently cared for Micaiah, so Hart and I could go on a much needed date! It was lovely to get away and just be the two of us, but while taking care of him among 3 other boys, she said, "I see what you mean about Micaiah. He's just very persistent." That made me feel better that I am not making things up when I tell you that my baby is a fussy, demanding, strong-willed child. You add, ear problems, teething pains (they are almost in by the way -Praise Jesus!), and then the lack of overall sleep....you pretty much want to go jump off a cliff, because hearing him whine and cry anymore is just too much!

I was reminded this past weekend why we need to wait a long, long time before we have more children. I had had the thought a time or two that if things were different for us financially, I would want to have another baby. Yep, that was pretty much crazy.

It is scary when you are reminded that you are this close to realizing that you could be one of those moms that just can't care for her baby. You realize that it is only Jesus that is keeping you in place, holding on for dear life.

I'm just asking you to pray for me, us. Yesterday was tough. Last night was hard. He just keeps crying and crying and all I can do is hold him and sometimes that doesn't even help. I'm tired and weary and need my Savior to rescue me.

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