Fun showers...and just a peek at my heart...

As I write this, I feel pretty sick. Literally, kinda like morning sickness, except I think it must just be a combination of things. So... I will blog until I feel like I can sleep again. haha.

I had a really fun day today. I've really had a fun week, because God has blessed us with two really really fun baby showers! My sweet friends from Columbia Crossroads Church, Carla, Merideth, and Satcher, all threw me this adorable little nautical themed shower AND my best friend, Elizabeth, and her mom, and my good friend from high school, Susan, gave me another sweet shower today! I feel so blessed to have these people in my life and to know how much they are looking forward to meeting our baby... well, it's just really sweet. My actual camera ran out of battery, but you know those life moments where you take a mental picture and pray you don't forget it? Well, that's how I felt as Sue and my friend Gina both bent down and kissed my belly before I left Elizabeth's house tonight. They were just so excited and talking to our baby about getting to meet him in 4.5 weeks!

As I feel bad physically now, I'm pretty much ready to have this baby out of me. BUT, that's not really how I've been feeling since my rather impatient post of a few days ago. Since then, I've felt like I have a ton to do and not enough time to do it! My to-do list is really so long it's overwhelming, but I keep stopping and saying, but how do I begin?! haha

As I struggle to keep my lovely hormones in check and struggle NOT to ride on my emotions right now, I've really been having a hard time keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus. I'm tired of doubting God. My sweet husband has told me recently that he is sorry that he doesn't lead us the way he should spiritually... which is crazy because he does a great job!... However, he's been reading to us the book of Joshua each night before bed. I know this is no mistake. Have you ever read the book of Joshua before? Well, my old testament knowledge can be kinda thin at times, but I do know that this book is perfect for where we are right now as we step out in faith with God's leading.

God just provides over and over again for the Israelites. And he does so in just so many unconventional ways. Ways that our world would say is foolish. Which makes me think of the verse where it says that we shouldn't decieve ourselves. "If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. For the WISDOM of this world is folly to God." 1 Cor. 3:19. Take Jericho for instance. Think of Rahab. Think of crossing the Jordan.

I cannot figure out how God will provide for us on one income. And sometimes it really shows... (Sorry, sweet husband!) It really is that we have to walk in faith. Something that I really really don't want to do, but I HAVE to do. I don't want to be fearful. I want to trust in Jesus. So I will go back to Scripture. I will remember how God loves me. I will look at what he has already done in his word, especially in Joshua. And I will look at things in my life that don't make sense where God provided. Just this week, we have been blessed with so many awesome things for baby that we need and even things that are just wants. They are from the Lord, ultimately. I WILL trust him alone!