Struggles

Everyone struggles with challenges that they face daily. Lately, to be honest I feel like I have been struggling in several areas. They are: Trusting God, Self-Confidence/Esteem, and Contentment. I live a VERY blessed and abundant life that God has given me. I am newly married, have a great husband, he has a job that provides for us, and a beautiful house. However, lately where has my excitement for God gone? Is my sin snuffing out my joy and I don't even know it!? Well, yes! Through much prayer and struggle and mornings where my zeal for life seems to barely trickle from my soul, how can I be thankful and content? I know these are issues that a lot of people face, so I am putting myself out there so that we do not believe Satan's lie that no one else struggles with these same issues.

TRUST
At the beginning of 2009, a woman from our church named Debbie Fagan, shared her journey of learning about submittance in her marriage. Something that if you ask most woman today, would cause a strange look of "You must be crazy to think of me submitting to a MAN!" Which sadly is not the real definition of the word. She talked about how she prayed to God and he gave the word Submit to study for two years in a row in her daily Bible studies.

I went home and a few days later remembered some of the things she said and decided to pray and ask God to teach me about his Word through a word. Before I could even finish my prayer, He gave me the word TRUST. It was clear; that was exactly the word I needed.

The first verse I found on the word is a familiar one and has really become dear to my heart:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-7

After sharing this with my husband, he decided to lead me by teaching me about God's Word through this verse, so for several nights we have studied this verse in pieces before falling asleep, which has been such a sweet time for both of us! I know God is will continue to teach me about this and I will keep you posted on what he reveals to me through his Word!

Self-Confidence/Esteem
I am nearing the end of my undergrad and starting to realize that life has been pretty cushy where I have been. Thankfully, God knew I needed to have the wonderful shelter of my husband because thinking about finding a job and stepping out into all those stresses without him, would have been rough! My self-confidence/esteem issues come out the most when I fail at being perfect at things!!! Can you believe that? Yes, I often operate out of a sense that I should be perfect at what I do. PERFECT! All those false expectations at trying to succeed 1) without God 2) walking in the flesh and 3) thinking I can do it better! This sin became clear, but wasn't dealt with because I was too busy trying to plan a wedding (making things perfect) and trying to make the (most perfect) grades on earth! Now, after slowing down and realizing that four years of making good grades for a 3.77 GPA is good, but shouldn't be my life goal, has really revealed that issue. I've been trying to give it over to God, but it is difficult! I know it is a process.

Wow...this blog is getting long. I could go on with how I want people to think I am the most perfect person for the job in an interview, or that I am the most perfect person for whatever they want, but I think you are getting the point?

Contentment
So I know that trust issues and self-confidence/esteem both stem from my Contentment in Christ Jesus. So please pray for me and as God keeps working on me in these areas, then I pray that God will continue to show me that every detail of every day is from Him and that I am exactly where he wants me! Praise HIM!

Thanks for reading about my life and the struggles I am currently working through!